Wednesday, October 31, 2007
ermmmmmmmm, today's entry is gonna be super random. HAHA! seriously i really envy those people who are really in love with God. i dunno why i cant do like how they do. i feel like i dont really have a goal in life. i am quite disappointed with myself. haiz. and i wondered why some people just deserve all the good things in the world when they did something so bad before to me and now still living so happily, it's not that i want them to die or what lah. i just feel why God is blessing them sooooo much? i know God has bless me in alot of ways, i can see it with my own pair of eyes but i dunno why i cant love God as much as others do. i really wanna learn to be devoted but it seems so difficult to do it and i just dunno how to do quiet time. i really pei fu my bible study teacher, i really wish to be like her someday. she seems to know everything. my guardian used to tell me i should be able to have the greatest faith among all my friends because of my illness but till now its like i still dont understand God at all. haiz. as for friends, i am glad to have a bunch of very good friends but sometimes its just so difficult to talk to them, its difficult to put in words. anyways its also very discouraging when my dearest say so bad about me. haiz. it feels like all my confident has gone down the drain and i dont deserve anything on earth. i always need to listen to other people's problems and where do i turn my problems too? myself? i think today's post is sooooo depressing, i am so sorry if i have offended anyone here. i just wanna write about how i feel. i need to be a happier person and stop thinking of all these things. that's all for now. i am just speechless for other stuff and has no mood to talk about it. nites.
Y10/31/2007 10:11:00 PM
